The Golden Book of Tales

In the time of Cockaigne I went to Rome and saw the plant hanging by a silk thread, I saw the man with burned feet who could outrun a horse, and a carriage draped with silver, swords, and metals for all. There was a young ass with a sharp eye who pursued two passing hares, and a little plant, on which sweets were growing. There I saw a lean goat which carried about a hundred car-loads of soap, and sixty loads of salt. Have I not told enough lies? There I saw a fish the size of a horse or cow, a plough ploughing without a man, and a young child of one year swimming in the river of Ratisbon to Treves. And from Treves to Strasburg, a hawk swam over the Rhine, which he had a perfect right to do. I heard fishes make such a song with each other, that it resounded as far as heaven, and sweet honey flowed from a deep valley at the top of a high mountain. I saw a bird escape its nest, only to fly again to its mother waiting for it. There I saw a maiden pull out the juice from a tree’s wood like it were wine from a glass. I saw two wolves chained to a the ground, and two doves flying above them.

There I saw the king and the richest man in the country argue about a young daughter’s indecent waiter and his kiss, a man dragging metal plates from his waist, and a magnificent walled garden with a half open gate. I saw a 17 year-old daughter with three musicians by her side signing her every move. There I saw a splendid carriage driving itself down an alleyway, a man signing from the rooftop of a building, a beautiful and talkative young painter painting the top of an umbrella with a brilliant yellow, and the stunning dressings of a young woman in a high window nearly out of sight. There was a woman whose face looked as though she was flattened by a press, and a kitten who scratched a man who was burned from the sun, then drank milk from a teacup.

And these were strange things. I saw two crows which were used to mow a field, and I saw flies making whole shapes, and a tight old woman sporting with young handsome men; myself talking into the air, two children with two of children of their own, and frogs walking as a man would.

There I saw two mice consecrating a bishop, and two cats playing with a tongue. Then a bucket of snails broke open and they together killed a furious lion. I saw a woman with a beard; and two sucking children held to their mother. And four horses were standing in a yard eating corn as sport, and two goats were making a fire, and a cow shot bread into an oven. Then a cock crowed, Cock-a-doodle-doo! This story is all told, Cock-a-doodle-doo!

A tailor’s apprentice was once traveling about the world in search of work, and at one point he could find none, and his poverty was so great that he had nothing besides his faithful servant, who was an impressively handsome servant with long, black, thick, full hair. One evening when the sun sunk behind the snow-covered mountains over which they were traveling, they heard the sound of music. It was strange and jolly music, and it was so pleasant that they forgot their weariness and followed the tune.

The full moon had already arisen when they reached a plot on which they saw a crowd of men, women, and elves, all as beautiful as the young servant, who had taken each other’s hands and where dancing with the greatest pleasure and delight. As the apprentice approached, he could hear the song being sung with all delight:

“Grant me my life, A bright sun and moon shall bring it to light, Oh, dear loved one, we bring it to light.”

And the men, women, and elves continued singing as the tailor’s apprentice and his servant approached their quarters.

“Now, we bring it to light All that thou hast Thy word we have kept.”

And finally a group of elves sung emphatically as the two entered the group.

“Now, we bring it to light The light it can let, Oh, dear one, would end in its death!”

Now in the midst of them sat Saint Nicholas, who was rather bigger than the rest. He wore a parti-colored coat, and his iron-grey beard hung down over his pot belly. The apprentice remained full of astonishment, and he watched them dance. The old man looked at the two, and waved them in as if to say they should enter, and the folks opened their circle.

Now the servant, who was brave enough, stepped in, but he felt that the apprentice should feel a little afraid at first, so he motioned to him as if to hold back, but when the servant saw how merry everyone was, he followed in tune. Then the circle closed, and the beautiful elves starting singing and dancing again. Saint Nicholas, however, took out a large knife which hung to his girdle, whetted it, and when it was gleamed and sharp, he took to the strangers. They were terrified, but had not much time to react, for Saint Nicholas seized the servant and with the greatest speed, shaved the hair of his head clean off, and then glared at the tailor’s apprentice.

But somehow their fear left them when, after he had finished his work, he clapped the servant on the shoulder in a friendly manner, as much to say that he had behaved well and let it be done willingly, and without struggle. He then pointed his finger to a heap of coals that lay beside them in a bucket, and gestured to to them that they could fill their pockets with them, if they so pleased.

Both of them took notice, and began to fill their pockets with the coals, and they went on their way to seek shelter for the night. When they had got into the valley, the clock of the neighboring monastery struck twelve, and the distant song ceased. In a moment, all their worries had vanished, and they laid in the moonlight of the hill.

The two covered themselves up in their straw-beds with their coats, but didn’t bother to take the coals out before resting for the night. A heavy weight on their limbs awoke them early in the morning. They felt in their pockets, and could not believe their eyes when they saw that they were not filled with coals, but with pure gold; happily, too, the hair which the servant was so well-known for was again as thick as ever. Even more, two elves, one who resembled the apprentice and one who resembled the servant, laid beside them resting.

They had now become rich folks, but the servant, who, in accordance with his faithfulness shared his gold and elf with his master, suggested that he go out again and find Saint Nicholas in order to bring back still greater treasures. The apprentice refused, but said, “You have given me enough that I am content with parting ways; now I shall be a master, and marry my dear object (for he so called his elf), and I am a happy man. Would you like to take your given sweetheart?” But the servant insisted they would not be parting ways, and that he would come away with still more treasures, and make them even more rich, and this pleased the now master tailor a great deal.

The brave servant set out in the evening with a couple of bags over his shoulders that he might stow coal, and took to the snow-covered mountain. He found, as before, the beautiful men and women and elves singing, and Saint Nicholas once again shaved him clean, and signed him to take the coal away with him. The elves watched as he hastily packed as much into his bags as he could, so much that he covered himself over with black coal. “Even if the gold does weigh heavily,” said he to Saint Nicholas, “I will gladly bear that,” and at last he went on his way and fell asleep with the sweet anticipation of waking up with a new elf and an enormous amount of gold.

When he opened his eyes, he got up to examine his pockets, but he drew nothing out of them but black coals, and howsoever often he put his hands in them there were still more coals. He smote his forehead with his dusty black hand, and then he felt that his whole head remained bald and smooth. Then he recognized the punishment of his greediness, and wept aloud.

The master tailor, who was wakened by his old servant returning in the night, comforted the unhappy fellow as well as he could, and said, “Thou hast been my comrade in my traveling time; thou shalt stay with me and share in my wealth.” He kept his word, but explained that the servant’s elf must have wondered off in the night, for he had not seen her since the night of his beloved wedding when half of his gold turned to coal.

There was once upon a time a Rebel King. The Rebel King ruled his kingdom with no rules. He had a large magnificent palace, a bustling city, and many many servants, but no rules. He sat on the throne and waited for his royal gifts to arrive to him, without much thought at all. He would receive fruit from the North, frozen ice from the Blue Mountain, and wonderful glass and table-wear from another kingdom, and he received, weekly, beautiful daughters from the wilderness’ dark queen, never wondering why they came.

This also happened to be a time when the Lord himself still used to walk about on this earth amongst men, and it happened that He was traveling through the Rebel King’s kingdom. One servant, who was dressed quite spectacularly, approached Him and explained the politics of the Rebel King, that he really didn’t rule with much rules at all. He invited the Lord to the palace, and when he met the Rebel King on his throne, he said, “Now, dearest, drink to me,” and the Rebel King received the Lord.

After the King had drunk, the Lord said, “You have scarcely drunk at all,” to which the Rebel King replied, “I have eaten nuts from the mountaineers, drunk wine from the church, licked the pot from the Garnet Mountains, and received a blow from the one of the wild queen’s daughters, and all of this just before you entered. Do you have a blow to offer me as well, my Lord?”

“I must give to you, a blow; dearest, this wild queen, whose treasures you receive so often, is your only wife. And with a blow, she hopes to change to a queen waiting for her beloved. She sends her finest young to you, the rebel king, and puts so many of them to death, for you are her only husband, and you must have your way with her.”

“She is a very strange queen, but now you have refreshed me. If I could but say something to her!”

And to answer this the Lord said, “If thou hast seen and learnt that this is your wife, and know it very well, thou wilt go about the land and find her, in her wilderness.”

“That is true,” said the Rebel King, “He heareth the cry my of my closed palace doors, for nothing has moved me ever, before the Lord.”

He replied, “In sooth, my dear, if thou cries, then the queen of the wild will let the whole world hear her storm, and if she cries unto God as thou dost, then it should fare ill with her, as she is a wicked queen.” And the Lord gave several more blows, and the Rebel King said, “What dost the queen long for?” - “Ah, my beloved, the wicked queen longs for the whole world to be wild.”

And so the rebel king set out to find the wicked witch of the wilderness.

The Wicked was beautiful and fair in appearance, but at heart, she was black and ugly. She led her wilderness through very evil times. The step-daughters in her kingdom, who were often so beautiful, were taken away, put in pretty dresses, and given as gifts to the queen’s holy husband, the Rebel King. Besides that, the women of the wild kingdom did their utmost to torment each other, mock each other, and strew the wilderness into ashes, only to allow the Wicked Queen to pick them up, or crash them down by her will.

A dusty and dirty young daughter of forest named Darilean, who was beginning to become fair, once was approached by the wicked, who took one look at her and decided to bring her back with her, to send to her husband in hopes to please him.

When the queen’s two stepdaughters saw the queen enter her wild palace with Darilean, they hurried over to her and informed her that a King had arrived. In response, the queen summoned white doves, and at last when she summoned them a crowd of all the birds under heaven arrived, and the queen picked the most beautiful bird and fastened them the Darilean’s clothes, and said, “Do not say a word, as you would be laughed at!”

And she entered her door with Darilean and her step-daughters, holding a large, mirrored looking glass, viewing the Rebel King from three angles.

The Rebel King cried, “O gentle doves, Come to me!”

And the queen approached the king without saying a word.

And the king approached young Darilean, and kissed the fair daughter.

To the Rebel King, the Wicked Queen said, “This one will be put to death, these two you may have as well, if you wish.”

Then came two more white doves, and the queen attached them to her step daughters.

The King said, “All of this is no good to me, my love; when you cannot come to me, for you have no dove, we have no dance, and I have no queen.” Then she turned to Darilean, and said, “If that is what you wish, take the fairest among us.”

“What I wish, is to marry the Queen of the Wilderness.”

The queen remained silent for a moment, then a tiny black bird flew in through the window and onto the queen’s looking mirrors, and she held the bird and approached the king, and said,

“Then you must kill this black bird.”

The king was so befooled that he thought his love was not shared. She gazed at him, then the dark queen took the bird in her hands, and swallowed it whole, and said “Heareth the cry of a young black raven, for no raven is to marry.”

“Where hast thou learned this?”, said the king

“Faithfully from God.” Answered the queen.

Then the King said, “I have but traveled three days to meet my queen, if I too had but something to eat!” And then he took in his hand took Darilean’s dove, and swallowed it whole.

And he said, to the queen, who was quite impressed, “When I think of it, I feel quite sad, but what can I do? I wish to take young Darilean and yourself as the queen of my kingdom.”

And she instantly took to Darilean, and whispered to her that she would be going with the Rebel King to live in his palace, and she took leave of the wilderness and traveled to the Kings palace where he married young Darilean and took as his wife the queen of the wilderness.

There was once upon a time a little boy whose father and mother were dead, and he was so poor that he no longer had even a room to live in, or bed to sleep in, and at last he had nothing but the clothes he was wearing and a little bit of bread which some blessed soul had given him. He was, however, good and pious. And as he was thus forsaken by all the world, he went forth into the open country, trusting in the good God.

He met a poor man, who said: “I am so hungry, give me something to eat!” So the boy gave him his whole piece of bread, and said: “May God bless it to thy use,” and traveled onwards.

Next, he met a child who moaned and said: “My head is cold, please give me something to cover it with.” So he took of his hood and gave it to him. He walked a little farther, and met another child who had no jacket and was frozen in the cold, so he gave it his own; and a little farther on he also gave away his shoes, his shirt, and all of his clothing.

And so he stood, nude, he had not one single thing left, when suddenly some stars from heaven fell down, and although he had just given his shirt away, he was wearing a new one which was of the very finest linen. And around him were hard smooth pieces of money that fell from the stars, which he gathered together and made good use of.

Now during this time there were four men whose powers in the country was giving them fame. One was a man who was a Jack-of-all-trades, who was good at business and had always been brave and bold, but he would do just about anything for money. “I shall make the king give me the treasures of his kingdom before I have no farthings.” He once said.

Then one day, he happened to meet a huntsman. To the huntsman he said, “Huntsman, what are you aiming at?” - “Two miles from here,” answered he, “There sits a fly on the bough of an oak-tree, I mean to put a bullet into its left eye.” - “Oh, come along with me,” said the leader,” let us stand against the world.”

The huntsman was quite willing to go with him, and so they went on till they came to seven windmills, whose sails were going round and round, yet there was no wind blowing. “Well,” said the leader, “I cannot think what ails the windmills, turning without wind,” there they came to a man sitting up in a tree, blowing wind out of his mouth. “Now then,” said the leader, “What are you doing up there?” - “Two miles from here,” answered he, “there are seven windmills; I am blowing the wind that makes them go round.” - “Oh, go with me,” cried the leader, “the three of us can stand against the world.”

So he went with them all together, and it was not long before they met a servant with a little hat on, and he wore it over to the side with the bill coving over one ear. “Manners! Manners!” Said the leader; “with your hat like that, you look like a jack-fool.” - “I dare not put it strait,” answered the servant; “If I did, there would be such a terrible frost that the very birds would be frozen and fall dead from the sky to the ground.” - “Oh, come with me,” said the leader; “we four together may well stand against the whole world.”

Now the four of them traveled on, and they agreed to live together until they reached the desert whereat they had an evil plan to irrigate the whole land. The wind-blower once said to the others, “How shall we manage it?” And another said,”Look at that great cornfield, no one could stop us.” And it was true that their power was so great that they could take what they wanted, and their leader often encouraged them to use their powers to seize others. And this continued until soon the whole country knew of these four and their powers.

But now as they approached the desert a fiery dragon came flying through the air, and the devil himself, came down to them, and asked why they had taken towards the desert, why they had band themselves, and why their powers were giving them so much fame. The leader replied to the Devil, “Only the soldiers are not aloud in the desert, and we were so hungry that we will all but die, if we do not eat. As for our fame, what is the use of having powers if we do not use them?” The Devil thought, and it was true, if they had been deserting troops their death would have been certain. So he said, “If you serve me for seven years”, “I will convey to the army that no one shall seize you, and you must only pose as soldiers for the hungry youth, and remain out of these lands.” - “We have no choice and are compelled to accept,” they replied. And now the devil pulled out a whip and said, “With a whip and a crack, gold will spring up round you, and you can live like great soldiers, and keep living as you are, but when seven years have come to an end, you are then my property.” And before them came a book which they were all four forced to sign.

And so they went on as soldiers and their fame reached such a point that even the king wished to meet them. So the King invited them to his palace, where he was hosting a competition wherein whosoever could outrun his daughter might become her husband, but whoever lost must lose his head in the bargain.

The four men traveled to the palace, and met the king, but the leader of the four was so bent on winning the competition that he hardly made a good impression with the King, whom had intended to buy the four soldiers’ freedom.

On the day of the competition the leader came forward and said to one of his men that he should run for him. He called to the servant, and said, “Look now,” “I will take care that we win.” Now the king’s daughter and the runners both started at the same time; but in one moment, when most runners had gone but a very little way, the King’s daughter and the servant were already out of sight, with the servant running as if the wind rushed him forward.

In a short time they reached the half way point, however, the servant was overcome with weariness, and set down to get some sleep. He took a horses’ skull and placed it under his head for a pillow. In the meantime the King’s daughter, who was really a good runner, good enough to beat any ordinary man, had reached the halfway point, and was hastening to go back to the starting point, and there she saw the servant lying asleep.” “The day is mine,” she said with much joy, as she hastened on.

And now it had all been lost but for the huntsman who was standing on the castle wall, with his keen eyes. “We must not be outdone,” said he, and he loaded his rifle and took aim so that he shot the horse’s skull from under the servant’s head without doing any harm. And the servant awoke and jumped up, and swiftly ran to the start, using the wind blown out of his accomplices’ mouth. The wind became so strong that he finished the race ten minutes before the king’s daughter.

The king was vexed, and his daughter yet more so, that the race should be won by a servant with a huntsman and wind-blower’s aid, and even moreso that it was won by a soldier. They took counsel together how they might rid themselves of the four soldiers. The King explained that he could buy the soldiers’ contract for one pound of gold, and then she could decide how she wanted to proceed after they agreed to serve the palace as rebels.

The four then met with the King, who presented one pound of shining gold, and explained that they would now be rebels of the palace. Now they happened to be in a feasting room, in which the king would bade his guests to feast and be merry and eat and drink; which has a door of iron and no windows at all. And when the king presented the gold, the leader of the four took the gold in his hands, and then he called to the wind-blower, and told him to blow wind into the room, and he told the servant to freeze the wind as it was unleashed, so that the whole room would be covered in ice as they made their escape. And they both did so, and as the room became very cold they took the gold and froze the door shut, with the king inside. The leader then suggested the evil plan that the king should suffocate inside the frozen room, to which the servant replied, “He will not suffocate, but the frost I bring shall make him feel ashamed to be a king, and we will escape.” And so they did, and after an hour or two the King managed to cause the door to be opened, with all the great dishes frozen and frost all around.

Full of wrath, the king scolded the cook, and decided to make the four soldiers known across the whole land for their terrible act.

And now some time had passed, and the King had succeeded in making the four soldiers more famous than ever, and the little boy who’s father and mother were dead was now living in the country with a married couple who had taken him in. For seven years he lived with his new masters, who taught him everything he needed to know to survive in the country; and he was now a young man.

He went out into the woods to collect wood putting one foot before the other as he always would, when he saw the four soldiers come along the road with a wheel-barrow, in which lay a young pig. “The Four Soldiers, what sort of trick is this?” Cried the pious young man. “Hark ye, young man,” said the leader, with a slightly mad tone. “Out of the love God has for ye I will spare ye.” - “Heaven repay you!” Said The young man to the four.

Then the young man weighed the situation at hand, and remembered that the King himself had let it be known that these powerful soldiers had stolen one pound of gold from the palace, and he felt a great fear. Then the young man saw the wind-blower lift himself up into the air with a gasp of his breath, hovering above the ground. The good young man was terrified, and he shouted out to the leader, “You theif!”

“Was it the pig?” Said the leader with a sly tone.

“That I got for shooting a cow.” Harked the huntsman.

“You took that!” Said the young man.

“For that lump of gold I might as well have taken the King’s head.” Said the leader.

And the servant froze the ground under the young man, and the young man slipped and fell to the ground, trembling with fear.

“You are enemies of the king!” Said the young man.

Then the wind-blower landed swiftly on the ground and between puffs said:

“Let it be known you can’t buy what you already have.”

And a gust blew the young man back, and he landed amongst stones. But with a brave and righteous heart, he went on, gathering stones in his hands to defend himself.

“You soldiers are nothing but king-slayers!” And he attempted to launch a stone at the flying wind-blower, but the huntsman shot the stone right out of the young man’s hand, and in a coordinated maneuver the young man was again blown back.

He crept then to his knees and felt the same helplessness he felt as a child. He removed all his clothes as he once did when he was so young and again when he removed his last covering the stars from heaven fell down, and he was wearing the very finest linen. And suddenly he felt that he could match the wind-blowers powers, and lifted himself off the ground, and blew a great gust that knocked the wind-blower back. And he listened for the good God, and thought again that the huntsman’s power’s would be so incredible that he would be shot from the sky. And more stars from heaven fell down, and the young man felt the incredible laser eyes of the huntsman, whom he quickly evaded and landed on the ground, and could now foresee the four’s movements with great focus.

Now he approached the servant, whose powers were great. But before the young man looked to the stars to gain new powers, the devil appeared smoking and crouched in front of the servant. He unfolded himself and said to the young man, “My dear young man, I know you have heard the King would pay a great deal for these four soldiers, but did you know he wants most a rebel? In fact, our king intended to pay these four soldiers one pound of gold, and in return call them Rebels of the King. As they are under contract, I will now take my soldiers away.” And then he disappeared with the four soldiers, leaving a solid gold block behind.

The young man picked up the heavy gold block, and set out to the King’s Palace. When he arrived, the King met with him and was surprised to see the gold that the devil had left. “What you have is a large amount of gold. Worth more than the contract of a soldier or even a rebel for that matter. What would you like in return for it, young man?” The young man thought that he would not like to work for the Devil, and explained to the King that he had lived in the country for a long time working with the couple who took him in as a child, but that he always wanted to live in the city. “Very well,” Said the King, and he arranged for the young man to live in a pious and good area of the city, and he later sent his daughter to work with him, and the two fell in love, and lived happily ever after.